


[Podfic] Dishonor on Your Cow

by wtfrenchtoast



Series: [Podfic] Dishonor [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Avengers AU, Bucky hate-fucking Steve for being a self-sacrificing dillhole, Captain America Steve Rogers/Modern Bucky Barnes, Clint has a crush and has zero chill, Enemies to Lovers, I guess? idfk, I swear to God this is not crack, M/M, Making Up, Misunderstandings, Modern Bucky Barnes, PR nightmares in the form of super soldiers, Podfic, Podfic Length: 10-15 Hours, Sassy Steve Rogers, Sergeant Barnes is Done With Your Shit Steve, Shrunkyclunks, Steve being a self-sacrificing dillhole, Steve has a bigger crush and left all his chill in the ice, Steve is also Done with a capital D, Steve the exhausting boyfriend, Steve you ding dong, Stockholm Syndrome 101 with Bucky Barnes, Thor's utter lack of respect for the fourth wall, a bucky's job in every universe is to save steve from his own mind, a mere glancing blow from an undercover op trope, a small bad guy massacre, alternate dimension trope, blatant disrespect of a man's motorcycle, brOTP Barnes/WIlson, breaking up, bucky barnes has cat-like reflexes, cuddle spores, deux ex buckina, enemies to hate sex, enemies to wary friends to lovers who still sort of hate each other?, fake relationship trope, giant fucking bugs, listen pal, magnetic attraction, mystical mystery mist, resulting in intense hatred, sassy errbody, sassy sea-salt cupcake bucky barnes, sex pollen trope, steve the doublemint dorito, stevus interruptus, stuck with a baby trope, the lightest of sensual caresses from an identity porn trope, unnecessary comparisons to animal planet during sexy times
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-20
Updated: 2019-04-05
Packaged: 2019-11-01 11:03:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 20
Words: 236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17866049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wtfrenchtoast/pseuds/wtfrenchtoast
Summary: “Sergeant Barnes?”“Oh, hell no, don’t call him that, man,” Sam warned.“Captain Fuck Off!” Barnes shouted over him. “Fight me!”Steve didn’t know whether to laugh or just slink away. He managed to combine the two by pacing two steps and snorting instead. Like a bull.“I’m gonna need you to calm your ass, Barnes,” Sam said as he went limp again, obstructing Barnes’s struggling under him. “This is so undignified. That is Captain goddamn America.”“Captain goddamn America!” Barnes repeated, louder. And angrier.Steve cleared his throat again. “I’ve been looking for you,” he told Barnes.“I hope you brought lube this time!” Barnes shouted.***Podfic of mandarou's amazing Dishonor on Your Cow**Update - I fixed an issue with Chapter 18 where the audio was all screwy, so if you downloaded that chapter, it's fixed now!





	1. What Are You

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Dishonor On Your Cow](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10659162) by [mandarou](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mandarou/pseuds/mandarou). 



Enjoy! 

 

Download:

  * [m4a](https://drive.google.com/file/d/13Z_ryG-4nrDLHI05EyOVb8fqN5qykD2K/view?usp=sharing)
  * [mp3](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1uHpdkTguOCDdWJceF-UVhXzsLQLdaFBx/view?usp=sharing)




	2. Captain Fucking America

Download:

  * [m4a](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1iPqhBFiwF7v6fRDOnbqcA6tN6ynNnEqu/view?usp=sharing)
  * [mp3](https://drive.google.com/file/d/16HiH_sZWOEjwWXIrmr7vI5iZDXkWCiHD/view?usp=sharing)




	3. Welcome to the Gun Show

Download

  * [mp3](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1zSYKwrHkWMb6zstVAOB6n0saLf-aQsrY/view?usp=sharing)


  * [m4a](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1BwbgrFO9AnJwSXDDYFOR5bmNZPzqib3D/view?usp=sharing)




	4. I'm All Right

Download (m4a, 34 min):

  * [m4a](https://drive.google.com/file/d/12M2KK3VKXNM1z_Tp0zbv_dMCEy7CcU8-/view?usp=sharing)
  * [mp3](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1WE3oeqHJT5ycs7T1B8R5NgM4_rnHCYcY/view?usp=sharing)




	5. Captain Cuddles

Download (28:22)

  * [m4a](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1wrsO4BetA4fUi5TqgkT0HLUoT-jgjUlD/view?usp=sharing)
  * [mp3](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1XRzDPqtN8xw8W1CygK0iD9CEr5Ai4pmI/view?usp=sharing)




	6. Whack-a-Mole

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unfortunately, I've run out of minutes on the free version of SoundCloud, so I'm going to be posting just the sound file downloads. If anyone has recommendations of other audio file hosting services, I'm all ears. Enjoy!

Download (37:01):

  * [m4a](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1ovDCNUgu_fvDrrugljWTqRsQVmfTjlYR/view?usp=sharing)
  * [mp3](https://drive.google.com/file/d/184rS3slQLcvG4qno-Uhhyf2i9UdwTVFp/view?usp=sharing)




	7. That was a Limited Edition

Download (38:01):

  * [m4a](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Q2Fw0B9KralKBAL1CqgqdpMtz8g_Oh4P/view?usp=sharing)
  * [mp3](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1fBNi4qtNC_hL94LJiymbObwmRwvCmr7s/view?usp=sharing)




	8. Consider This Your Debriefing

Download (29:25)

  * [m4a](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1uLW2r3MTCJe9z3kVR9b1QKqTxDud1--l/view?usp=sharing)
  * [mp3](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1-W1IsjjKAAZXvIOcmeOJOxp75ddu78ep/view?usp=sharing)




	9. Ho, Don't Do It

Download (30:46):

  * [m4a](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1LbSWWgU9odG66ZTALlXom5nlsfJ6nwXM/view?usp=sharing)
  * [mp3](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1XTskY4FohQvT4BtjqXSx7P86SGM3anCb/view?usp=sharing)




	10. Cat-Like Reflexes

Download (32:12):

  * [m4a](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1it9G6vNMg81Hv_KaCfM7p2X9ESay7ecH/view?usp=sharing)
  * [mp3](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1WdY5IGHGR6pnVVzFw46h5gzoNhlOQPt8/view?usp=sharing)




	11. Wolverine Can Suck It

Download (36:23):

  * [m4a](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1OO_Sc2FiR4Yp8MVDHaRsINBFeTD3TDo6/view?usp=sharing)
  * [mp3](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1cIkp11HYKkfIVkfDkR811AU0dALsc55E/view?usp=sharing)




	12. This is Awkward

Download (40:59):

  * [m4a](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1vFHRtlXBSKu350HYTon7AEm0ItM4kNXI/view?usp=sharing)
  * [mp3](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1aqIMdyV48zfgDOImWztdTMv3eDokfxvR/view?usp=sharing)




	13. Bucky No

Download (39:39)

  * [mp3](https://drive.google.com/file/d/15FZobIQ2ohcUK9186V-mvDgT4JXXV6hM/view?usp=sharing)




	14. What Fresh Hell is This

Download (32:35) here:

  * [mp3](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1iUD8rTs9f6aq4XB90F179VzYqrPGZykJ/view?usp=sharing)




	15. That Sounds Fake, But Okay

Download (31:16) here:

  * [mp3](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1hC_Po2C7GkH7SYHl0_kYFMUlLbYoJsYE/view?usp=sharing)




	16. Tactical Grade Kink

Download (35:18) here:

  * [mp3](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1aqRcaUSwOnBLUMdpZJJVH0_QZBYNmQvk/view?usp=sharing)




	17. The Conundrums

Download (50:33) here:

  * [mp3](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1WpMfhRjdHxqcM_Eq_w1JuBSPnU_XX6jj/view?usp=sharing)




	18. Hello, I Guess

Download (25:32) here:

  * [mp3](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1hbplCiRRpkDLQze5xxjy6zNHa0wRVyyI/view?usp=sharing)




	19. Winning

Download (36:07) here:

  * [mp3](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1zdFlyGN8Nq9_KrQwNdENt61jvqpbu61r/view?usp=sharing)



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S DONE!!!! A whopping 10-hour, 43-minute monster of good times and great oldies. Thanks for sticking with me all this way, folks - it's been an absolute pleasure to create this and I appreciate all of the encouragement. 
> 
> Huge, massive thanks to the author, mandarou, who deserves a Pulitzer for her masterful storytelling. 
> 
> The very last chapter is a track list of all the music I used in this podfic. I regret nothing!


	20. Appendix: Soundtrack

Thanks for staying with me, folks! Here is the cracked-out, jacked-up rollercoaster that is the track listing for all of the music featured in the recordings:

1\. Everything is Awesome - Tegan and Sara, The Lonely Island

2\. American Beauty/American Psycho - Fall Out Boy

3\. Crazy Train - Ozzy Osbourne

4\. I Fall to Pieces - Patsy Cline

5\. Hooked on a Feeling - Blue Swede

6\. Give it to Me Right - Melanie Fiona

7\. Love is a Battlefield - Pat Benetar

8\. Something to Talk About - Bonnie Raitt

9\. Happy Together - The Turtles

10\. Animals - Maroon 5

11\. Eye of the Tiger - Survivor

12\. Somebody to Love - Queen

13\. 99 Problems - Jay-Z

14\. Borderline - Madonna

15\. Dead or Alive - Bon Jovi

16\. Take Me Out to the Ballgame - Ronnie Neuman

17\. Under Pressure - Queen

18\. Who Did That to You - John Legend

19\. Come Together (cover) - Gary Clark Jr


End file.
